Optimism is not something acquired at birth; it is a virtue to be mastered. The best way to learn the virtue of good spirits is to become a fan of the Detroit Lions.
A typical Detroit Lions football fan is psyched in September, optimistic in October, and dejected in December. However, this dejection recycles back into resilient cheer as soon as February commences. This has been the case for the 50-odd years the Lions have been the NFL’s worst team.
Now before last season, my friend Clayton Campbell was a very pessimistic guy. You know the type. This man was the kind who insists the pool water temperature is either hypothermia inducing or someone must have peed in it. He would refuse to go on roller coasters on the basis they were unsafe, stocked up water during Y2K, and read Ecclesiastes often.
I thought football was a natural waterfall over which to paddle his little pessimistic canoe.
Football has a sixteen week season, which is the same amount of time most school semesters
are. I figured my hapless Lions could transform his outlook on life in that period of time. Clayton was interested in football, but never actually followed the sport throughout the season before. He was eager to begin, and Week 1 he was there in front of the TV, Lions jersey on, popcorn in hand, brimming with hopes and expectations.
The Lions’ first play resulted in a touchdown for the other team. Clayton sat in front of the TV, dumbfounded.
“Way to start the season. Their luck had better turn around.”
“Just watch.” I said, smiling to myself. I had a feeling everything would go according to plan.
He sat and watched the whole game, and I watched him. The Lions lost the game in typical Lions fashion, and I asked him his thoughts. He responded, “Well, it was the first game of the season. I can see that happening. All the nerves, all that pent-up energy from eight months of inaction. They’ll get it next week.”
“They’ll get it next week.” In the hardest, rockiest of soil, the seeds of optimism had taken root and sprouted in the space of a 60-minute football game.
You see, my idea was to get him to take pleasure in something so utterly hopeless, he would be forced to maintain a positive outlook in order to continue enjoying the activity. The Lions were a reliable, ideal choice for this experiment; as the season progresses they always get steadily worse. You know the cliché, how a team “finds ways to win.” Well, the Lions find ways to lose, and Clayton found ways to justify their atrocious play.
Week 2 the defense played poorly because the middle linebackers’ dog died, Week 3 the receiver dropped the game winning touchdown pass because the sun was in his eyes. When their record became 0-4, Clay finally admitted that yes, they did suck, but still had unwavering faith in the management and staff of the Detroit Lions organization.
This faith was dispelled, however, during Week 5 when our defensive coach was fired for driving thru a Burger King unclothed.
Clayton now became a firm believer in “team spirit”, the crowd’s moral support and love for their team, buoying up the footballs for a second longer, and inspiring the players to victory. But by Week 10 the crowd was booing the Lions, chanting FIRE MILLEN (the manager)and, in short, doing everything to bring judgment upon the Lions other then marching seven times around their stadium and blowing trumpets.
He was, by Weeks 12-16, thoroughly displeased by the season’s course of events. Many times he would slump back in his chair, sigh despondently, and say “stupid Lions” to no one in particular.
I waited. I knew right after the season ended in December, a cocoon of discouragement surrounded him. The Lions finished dead last, and for a month or two he returned to his pessimistic ways. Then about mid-February, an amazing change took place. He began to miss football, miss the Lions. By August all the negativity had melted away, and Clayton stood there, foam finger on hand, ready for another season, another beating.
The optimism transferred over to other things, as well. He began to give positive comments on my ping-pong playing, and corrected me when I stated Hannah Montana had no talent. (“She’s in a learning stage as a singer. Give her time.”) His belief in politicians hasn’t changed that much, but now he does admit not all candidates form from the slime underneath rocks at the beach.
In short, football was able to show Clayton what many people fail to see; though something may be flawed, it doesn’t mean you have to view that something in a negative way. Sometimes by squinting at the television, you can almost see the football score being 14-8 instead of 14-0.
No? Well maybe the scoreboard’s broken…
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